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Post by SlyFrawst on Sept 20, 2004 22:53:32 GMT -5
Pop Speed
3 kids are in a school yard bragging about how fast their fathers are. My father runs the fastest, says the 1st. He can shoot an arrow, start to run, an he gets there be4 the arrow.
My Dad has urs beat, says the 2nd kid. He can shoot his gun and get there be4 the bullet.
Sorry but my pops is the fastest, says the 3rd kid. He's a civil servant. He gets off work at 5 an gets home by 3:45.
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Post by SlyFrawst on Sept 20, 2004 22:58:45 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]Cavity Creep[/glow]
A man w/ a toothache goes to the dentists office. After examining the man, the dentist says that tooth has to come out now.. Im going to give u a shot of novacaine to numb u unless u need another which u wont. No way says the man im completely terrified of needles. We'll have to use gas then. Absolutely not replies the man it'll make me sick for days. The dentist steps out of the office then returns with a pill and a glass of water. Take this viagra he says. That will kill the pain? asks the guy. No replied the dentist but itll give u something to squeeze while I pull ur tooth.
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Post by SlyFrawst on Sept 20, 2004 23:02:23 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]Holy Roller[/glow]
A priest walks by a hooker, who shouts hey father ill give u a blowjob for 10 bucks.
The embarrassed priest then bumps into a nun from the church. " Perhaps u can help me sister," he says. " Whats a blow job?"
" Ten bucks, the nun replies. " Same as everywhere else."
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Post by SlyFrawst on Sept 20, 2004 23:04:33 GMT -5
Q: What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?
A: It may take a while to get hard--- I just got laid last night.
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Post by SlyFrawst on Sept 20, 2004 23:08:55 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]Loco Motive[/glow]
A guy is hangin upside down from the rafters at a factory when a blonde coworker walks by. What r u doin she asks, I need a few weeks off im pretending to b nuts. Just then the boss walks by and sees the man Damnling from the ceiling. What r u doin asks the boss? Im a light bulb answers the guy. Ur goin crazy take a vacation. The man jumps down to leave, the blonde starts to follow him. Where do u think u r goin young lady the boss asks. Home she says i cant work in the dark.
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Post by SlyFrawst on Sept 20, 2004 23:20:44 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]Flying Blind[/glow]
A blind man is telling his friends how hes able to sky dive. " The parachute is packed and put on me" he explains. " Then i'm positioned at the door, and the pilot tells me when to jump." " But how do u know when ur gonna land?" asks a friend. Simple, says the blind man. " The dog's leash goes slack."
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Post by SlyFrawst on Sept 20, 2004 23:31:58 GMT -5
Holey Cow
A husband, a wife, and son r barely making ends meet on their farm. 1 mornin the woman sees the family's only cow lying dead in the field and hangs herself in desperation. When the man awakens, he sees his wife and cow dead an shoots himself. The son finds his parents dead and goes to drown himself, only to discover a mermaid at the river. The mermaid tells him " if u have sex with me 10 times in a row, I will revive ur parents and the cow." Why not 20? says the son. Fine she says twenty twen. But wait says the boy, how do i know that 20 times in a row wont kill u like it did the cow?
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Post by SlyFrawst on Sept 20, 2004 23:36:45 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]Divine Wisdom [/glow]
Q: Why did God give women orgasms?
A: So they would have something else to moan about
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